Thursday, September 11, 2008

Never settle

This rule goes for everything from the smallest sale item to one of the most important decisions a person can make – who to be with romantically, long-term or possibly for the rest of one's life.

Think of a fabulous handbag you spotted – for argument's sake, a Coach bag, Bleecker line, duffel style in a sophisticated red tone, with gold hardware. Well made, strong, useful style, good looking, you know it will last forever… and available at such a low price! Brand new! It's never been used!

You grab it! Since it looks flawless you immediately fork over your hard-earned cash. You delight in spending time with it every day, without fail. It becomes habit! But after a while you realize that red doesn't go with everything, and gosh, is that a scratch on the gold? When did that get there? A pen mark? Dang. Clean it off! The strap is too short. Now the zipper keeps sticking!? What was once unbreakable no longer works.

You have now had the bag for almost a year. You think about other bags that stopped exciting you. You begin to notice other bags. You realize you don't need this bag as much as you thought you did. Although this bag made you feel great for a while, you decide to retire it, because really, what has it done for you lately? Just when you should be really comfortable with that bag, trusting that it will work hard for you, not caring that the color doesn't go with everything… the bag no longer draws you in. The bag couldn't keep up with you.

Now replace "handbag" with "man", and "cash" with "heart", and "you" with me, and you can figure out what decision I had to make. I realize this analogy is a simplification, but...

Life is short, far too short to spend with a bag that doesn't make you feel like a million bucks. I'm glad I had a great bag for a while. I would have liked to have enjoyed it longer, but the time was right to let it go. When its details should have become invaluable to me, instead they caused problems. Why should I keep the bag if it's too painful?

I expect to think of this bag fondly, but ultimately it wasn't the right one for me. I hope it will be just right for someone else.

Sigh. My cash hurts.

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