Wednesday, May 14, 2014

LinkedIn, you nostalgic asshole

Sooo...

How about that moment when you accept a cool new connection on LinkedIn and it immediately suggests numerous more possibilities based on email addresses… 11 of which are ex-boyfriends or men you’ve dated, whom you no longer wish to be reminded of.

Thanks but no thanks, LinkedIn, for making me relive these unwanted memories of gibbering fools! You are such an asshole. There's a reason why I relegated them to "Z" status...

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Adventures in sewing

I've gotten the sewing bug again! (And what's more, the urge to give.)

So I decided to whip up a sleep/relaxation mask and matching heating/cooling pad for someone who deserves a little giftie, as a sweet surprise for them. I was going to attach a note to the pad stating, "I'll make you feel better!" Cute, yes? (I know. :) )

I bought some very soft material, cut a decent pattern, and started sewing, but not before I mixed up a cup of jasmine rice with dried peppermint leaves and a couple of drops of peppermint essential oil. It smelled divine to me! Unfortunately, it also smelled divine to the cats, because Butchie muscled his way over as I was sewing and attempted to stick his nose into the project! Too dangerisk! I had to lock him in the bathroom.

I was using a complicated stitch in contrasting thread (red on black) and had already practiced using the crissy-crossy shears (I forget what they are called) for a pretty edge. I told myself to leave plenty of room for the rice mixture. I left just barely enough... and then I realized I didn't have a funnel. Crap.

I fashioned one from paper, then another longer one and managed to get the rice in. YAY! Then I started sewing again... but I hadn't matched up the stitch as well as I thought. No biggie. I'll just go around again. It'll look cool.

So I thought things were going as well as planned considering I didn't have a plan at all until I broke the needle on a piece of wayward rice... with half an inch to go to complete the mask. Know what? That's enough sewing adventures for tonight.

It's ok -- this was just a practice run, right? Good thing I have plenty of fabric...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I dream of Q-tips

I've been dreaming a lot lately, and it's a shonda that I haven't been blogging or at least taking notes about them because some of them are seriously hilarious. (Some are terrifying, though. I wouldn't want to share. Oh hell, who am I kidding? If I share them, they won't bother ME as much!)

In last night's dream I was either stealing bags of Q-tips or correcting bags of Q-tips. I know. Correcting them? Ha!

But in these product bags, each large bag of Q-tips consisted of three smaller bags of Q-tips (real ones, not the cheap ones. And I know the real ones don't come in a bag. Just work with me.)

But some bags had three bags and some had four and they were overstuffed. But I probably should have been putting them into some kind of work-related basket, not greedily filling up my arms with them, right? Although I was wearing some kind of uniform (not a Target one, but like a Target one. NOT Walmart.) The aisles were wide and clean though, like Target. And almost everything was white. Was it heaven? I'll never know.

What did I need all those Q-tips for, anyway? I've finally gotten over my "loading up on deodorant" phase and am slowly working my way through my makeup, but Q-tips? Sigh...

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Everything Is A Relationship

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
"If everything is held together through relationships, and we as people are made of the same “everything”, then what about our relationships? What holds us together? We know what the laws of nature are. So what are the laws of human nature? And is it really all that different? Could the same stuff that binds the universe together bind us together as well? And what do we call that?"
See? See? This is what I've been wondering for years and years! Thank you, PunkTorah!

Read on, here.

Friday, May 4, 2012

RIP, MCA


Oh, Beastie Boys. One of your blossoms has fallen!

Adam Yauch, you will not be forgotten. You were a pioneer! My respects to you, your family, and your music.

But to leave you Constant Readers with a smile, I will tell you a short story. As a teenager in the late 1980’s, I spent one summer at Camp Kinder Ring, a friendlier camp by far than Camp Ramah. (My family later found out Kinder Ring was a Socialist camp. I don’t know why we didn’t figure that out. The ring and all. Maybe that was why I had a better time. And by better, I mean only semi-horrible.)

Anyway, the camp had lots of shows and events that they set up for us. We saw semi-famous wrestlers and went to concerts and also did all that camp stuff on site like have talent contests.

So one of the “acts” was a trio of young boys lip syncing to Fight For Your Right to Party. They were little kids, maybe 10-ish. And here we are, the entire camp, watching and hooting and all singing the song in our heads because we are all cool Jewish kids and we know how to rock out, right? And we know what’s coming.

So they’re bouncing around and looking “tough”, doing a decent lip syncing job, and they merrily get to the verse about mom throwing away his porn.

But no one had ever bothered to tell the kid, and he didn't know about porn, so...

his "Mom threw away his HORNO mag!"

Horno mag. Priceless.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Scary dream!

Last night I had a scary dream. More like a funny nightmare, really.

I dreamt that my face was sprouting a beard, and I had to keep shaving! And I was doing it with a heavy-duty disposable razor (if there is even such a thing). It was definitely not my pink Revlon rechargeable.  (That reminds me.  I need to plug it in.) The hair kept growing back – by the time I got around to the left side of my face, the right side was already pushing out hairs… and it was hot under there. The hair was super soft, but very tickly. So the only thing I can think of is that Butchie kept snuggling up to my face in the night and I kept pushing him away in my sleep but just he returning.

That’s all for now, except for saying that I miss blogging and I plan to continue with a goal of at least three posts per week. I really enjoy the HubPages Apprenticeship, but shit! It’s a lot of work. More than I thought it would be.  But I will not be dropping out, no sirree, not me!

Remember when that tarot reader said I would make money from my writing? Well, there was Demand Studios (for which I bought myself a camera and a laptop) and now this. So it’s slow going, but it is happening. HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY FOR CC!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Sound bytes


From my b-day trip to Florida two weeks ago.

From five-year-old Neph:
  • On my visit in general: (Excitedly) “Will Auntie CC bring her cats?” 
  • On playing Dominion after throwing cards out to me like a blackjack dealer: “All right. Can you read?”
  • On his rock collection: “That’s not playing, that’s LOOKING.”
From eight-going-on-twenty-two-year-old Niecey:
  • On the Wii game Cooked or be Cooked: “You have to swirl the oil around the pan, like this.  See?  Watch me!”  (Twists her wrist back and forth like she’s dancing while tripping on acid)
  • On drumming: “That’s the cool thing about a drum set.  You can rock out whenever you want!”
From Niecey and Neph, separately:
  • But you played more with [the other kid] than with me!  (And Readers, to this let me say, FALSE!  I played most with my sister.  *smile*)
From bro-in-law:
  • On choosing a dating site username for me: “How about something biblical-type, like LawOfKindness?”  “Hmm.  How about LawOfCookies?” 
From sister:
  • “Hey, have you ever been to Vegas?”   
  • “I get enough potty talk from my kids.  I don’t need to hear it from my sister…”  

Birthday girl

So it was my birthday yesterday. That means I'm older! Wtf! When I actually feel like I'm getting younger. (I regressed yesterday a little and without meaning to, called my parents Mommy and Daddy. And even as if slipped from my lips again and again, I couldn’t stop myself from speaking the last syllable.)

I had a great day topped off by yummy Mexican food at Plaza Azteca on the border of Methuen and Salem, NH. For dessert, chocolate cake with raspberry frosting was surprisingly tasty.

In addition to the ticket to La Casa de Clipboard (financed by my parents and sister… the round-trip ticket was only $146, unheard of!), I received the coolest watch EVER in the art deco style from the Metropolitan Museum of Art store, similar to a leaded multi-paned window I fell in like with that morning. I guess they know me pretty well! I love watches, I love art deco, I love black. Perfect gift!!!

Leftover birthday for breakfast on Saturday morning sounds like a pretty nice way to wake up. Happy Friday!

Go 1 Dollar


I went to the Lawrence dollar store last night and this is what I picked up:
  • A big bottle of Up-and-Up (Target brand) Aveeno-type body wash
  • A pretty little white crocheted rayon capelet with the $18 tag still on it (from Fashion Bug.  I know my labels and btw it is right down the street.)
  • Two pretty faceted glittery beaded bracelets, one flesh tone and the other pinkish. 
  • Two more sets of leg warmers, for wearing sock-style while sleeping to ameliorate the cold toes situation.  One electric-blue-and-light-blue-and-white striped in case Butchie wants to wear one around his neck, and the other purple-and-lavender-and-white striped.
  • Two bars of Toblerone.  That lovely, silky, wonderful chocolate with the sinfully delicious bits of nougat stuck in!  (They were eaten almost immediately.  Ha. “They were eaten.”  What I really mean is, “I ate them almost immediately.”  And they were a-w-e-s-o-m-e!!!)
  • Two bars of that translucent green Pears soap that is so wonderful.  For my face!  I prefer the green bar to the orangey tone one. The orangey one seems to have changed and it is way drying now.  *sad face*
  • One bar of that pomegranate Yardley soap that is so wonderful (they didn’t have the pomegranate rose with the exfoliating bits in, too bad)
  • One thing of achiote seeds (with a star K on it!)
  • One thing of ground achiote (with a star K on it!)
  • A cute black and white newspaper-want-ads-style carrying bag for groceries or leaving in the car in case of something.  It’s my second, in case I have a lot of groceries.  I like my shopping bags to match.
  • Another pair of thick insulated stripey socks
  • A really cute pair of knitted-looking house sockies with a little knitted flower buttoned on the side
  • A pair of undies
  • A bottle of air freshener, citrusy scent of course
  • Two beautiful small skeins of peachy slash orange and white furry specialty yarn
  • A container of specialty mint tea from Israel (with pomegranate!)

I love that crazy dollar store! It’s called Go 1 Dollar and located on Route 114 in the same shopping center as the RMV, and it’s nothing like Dollar Tree. Although Dollar Tree is great and you can find what you need, this store’s stock really does change and you never know what you might find. Plus it is full of name brand stuff.

Although the shoppers there seem to have no sense of space boundaries. I wonder about that. I mean, step back! Guy, there is no reason you need to be in the sanitary supplies section anyway.

So if you feel the need to shop and want to giggle, and you only have 15 bucks, I recommend this place. They also have typical dollar store stuff, so if you need cleaning products or stickers for the kids, definitely check it out. And bring a friend... it makes it ever so much more fun.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Hub of the Day!

Hey what!  My rice and beans recipe made Hub of the Day!

www.hubpages.com

Click here to vote for my recipe as a HubNugget.  Once you get there, click on VOTE and do it for me, theclevercat!  (I will get a special accolade.)  Thanks, readers!

UPDATE 2/8/12: I got the special accolade!  Thanks again!!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Dating tips from my niece

I'm anonymously famous!  (Still without a love life, but working on it.  Ahem.)

Online Dating Tips from an Eight-Year-Old.  (That's my niece!)