Chanukah gifties

For Chanukah this year, I received two books from my sister: Proust Was a Neuroscientist, by Jonah Lehrer (which looks amazing -- not exactly light reading, but terrific nevertheless), and The Deviant's Pocket Guide to the Outlandish Sexual Desires Barely Contained in Your Subconscious, by Dennis DiClaudio (considerably less difficult, and far more juicy).

When I opened the present (in front of my parents -- they were sent via Amazon and actually wrapped by my mother), I told myself that the "guide" was not a jab at the fact that I'm not currently "getting any", and I reminded myself that I am certainly not one of those... *ahem*... "deviants"...

Anyway, I began reading The Guide the evening. And I'm just about done. Deviant? I'm afraid so. Or at least, deviant "lite"...

I came across one that I guess I must have: trichophilia, or enjoyment of human hair. Scruff applies. Yeah, baby. But! That's pretty tame, according to some of the others:

• Emetophilia, erotic vomiting (Yuck. I hate vomit.)
• Eprotophilia, flatulence desire (Yuck. I hate farts.)
  
• Coulrophilia, clown fetish (Yuck. I hate clowns.)
• Schediaphilia, arousal to cartoons (Hmm. I don't hate cartoons. I don't hate cartoons at all...)