Monday, March 14, 2016

Strength mustered

So over the past few days I've thought a lot about what attracts people to each other. I suspect this was what happened in the case of my latest "fun while it lasted" relationship.

The Toxic Attraction Between an Empath and a Narcissist

"Emotionally exhausted, lost, depleted and debilitated an empath will struggle to understand what has happened to the once loving, attentive and charismatic person they were attracted to.

However, an empath should not be looking to blame anyone else. An empath has a choice, to remain the victim, a pawn in the narcissists game or to garner all strength they can muster and find a way out."
Well, consider strength mustered. Although I think "toxic" is not exactly accurate. Let's just stick with "destructive". (Apologies for the Elephant Journal site as it seems to be quite laggy.) Also, 
"A narcissist will struggle to have any connection to their authentic self and will likely walk away from the relationship very easily once they realise they have lost their ability to control the empath. The game is no longer pleasurable if they are not having their ego constantly stroked, so they will seek out their next victim."
So I’m glad it only “cost” me a little over two years. Granted, they were important years, crucial years… but I learned my lesson and had a bit of fun while doing it.

I kept reading and came across this, too:
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: 30 Traits of a Narcissist
"A narcissist will basically role-play and respond in whatever manipulative manner that garners the best response. If they are up against a strong, determined and independent person they will move into the role of a sensitive, loving, caring and vulnerable character. If they interact with a codependent personality type, they will likely move into the role of aggressor."
So I guess I am a strong, determined, and independent person after all. *smile*

Onward! To the front room! To removing excess crap! To the future!!!


Gina Vega said...

Narcissists are tricky. And it's hard to identify early on...often it doesn't really show up until some defenses go down.

I can assure you that empaths suffer from them (and also from every random feeling that floats around the room). Happily, on Sunday there was no bad feeling in the condo!

The Clever Cat said...

That's right! It was very freeing.