Dr. Wicked's Writing Lab

A couple of days ago, the VT published a very good article by Daphne Gray-Grant entitled Welcome to Dr. Wicked. (Unfortunately, you can't read it unless you have a subscription, poor you.) But don't worry, I'm here for ya.

Although half the article was filler (in my 'umble opinion, sorry Daph), Ms. Gray-Grant brought a terrific tool to the table -- it's called Dr. Wicked, and it is. Your task? Write or die.

Choose your word goal, time goal, mode, and grace period, and then do it. Just write. And hurry! In Kamikaze mode, existing text will be erased if you don't add more (and that's not the highest mode. Eep.) You can choose a lower one if you prefer less hard-core-iness but still want to get the job done -- but beware of bad, bad music. Hey, we all need to be poked sometimes, and this certainly forces productivity. I like it.

So check it out! (I'm a fan on Facebook...)

Yum, men

How do men look so yummy?

Why is it that the typical man can look so good without doing a damn thing, while on any given day the typical woman applies makeup and does her hair and wears sexy shoes and eye-catching clothes? I love wearing makeup, and I love sexy shoes and clothes, and doing my hair is fun (to an extent), but it would be great if I could be as appealing as a man just by rolling out of bed... it's so unfair...

Gee honey, that itches

My rights must be defended!

http://www.emersonpoynter.com/news/newsdetail.asp?news_id=119

This is distinctly un-angelic… good thing I stick to Frederick’s...

Limited warranty

So today I finished a box of paper clips (hooray!) and picked up some more from the supply closet. I broke down the box to put them in their proper dish and admired the shape of the flat box cutout. (I especially liked the tabs. They were pointed.) I was about to throw it away when I noticed what was written on the bottom panel. It was a one-year limited warranty. On paper clips! Who returns paper clips...?

Are you there God

It's me, Clever Cat. Or it could be the person down the street. It's someone, at least...

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE5214HQ20090302?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=69

Happy birthday, Barbie!

When you're hot, you're hot!

West Virginia lawmakers hope to ban the gorgeous Babs (and other dolls with inhuman proportions) from the state on her 50th birthday, March 9th.

Whuh-huh? I ask you, who wants to play with a doll that looks like your neighbor? Barbie is supposed to be a glamour puss. If a doll had the proportions of a "normal" woman, she would most likely not be a model. And Barbie was born a model, after all. But she's also been a vet, a gymnast, an astronaut, a presidential candidate, and Rosie O'Donnell, of all things (as I understand, this "friend of Barbie" is made from a Barbie head and a Ken body. Why is that fun?) And by the way, Mattel did put out an athletic Barbie with a more correctly proportioned body, one that could stand on its own on with its huge feet... which nobody bought.

As a little girl, I wanted to play with pretty things and make my own scenarios, not be handed a clunky doll and forced to reenact real situations. That doll would have been thrown in the trash! (I would keep the accessories for my Barbies to wear, though...)

Considering the average American woman is overweight, how exactly would that translate to a small doll? I guarantee it wouldn't be much fun to play with. Think of an average woman, say, someone in the grocery store. Her clothes wouldn't lay right, makeup fair, teeth a maybe a little yellow, her accessories are all wrong, and she is pushing a cart with a screaming child. There's a reason why Barbie is fun, people -- escape from reality!

The problem is actually not that Barbie is so sexy, it's that America is becoming less so. People are becoming fatter and fatter, and perhaps if Americans have something else to focus on, the obesity epidemic will not be front and center anymore.

Their argument actually goes both ways. By hoping to pass this bill, West Virginia is suggesting that in order to be considered smart, you may not be attractive at all, let alone sexy. What about all those poor souls who are beautiful, have great figures, and are also rocket scientists? They do exist, you know. Don't ostracize them!

So ban Barbie? I certainly hope so -- that will make my collection worth so much more!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,504456,00.html

And lest you think it can't be worse, Barbie also has reason to complain...

Ex-boyfriend-re-befriending

It’s a slippery slope.

Let’s say you’re dating someone, and they break it off with you. Would you want to be their friend? What about if you were the breaker-upper? Would it matter to you?

This can be an uncomfortable situation. If the person wanted to see you, as a friend, they would, either right away or some amount of time later. You know I am of the school that says, “It’s over. Let’s never speak of this again, and go our separate ways. And if we run into each other for whatever reason, let’s be polite, not buddy-buddy, not obnoxious, and certainly not nostalgic. And no hanging around like we're friends, because we’re not.”

But I tend to not be nostalgic to begin with, and my patience is short when faced with annoyances, and even shorter when I have to deal with people I have no interest in. (I have even been informed that I think like a guy in certain situations -- which works for me.) I did try the befriend-the-ex-boyfriend thing after college with someone I cared for and fell out of love with, and it worked, until I had to dump him for the second time (from friend status) after my divorce when I realized he was too high-maintenance. Sorry. I just don’t have the desire to expend more energy on someone else than I do on myself. Harsh? I think not. It’s a self-preservation technique! (I am sure this outlook will change after kids enter the picture, but for now, it makes perfect sense.)

And certainly if someone broke up with me I would not want to be friends with them, anyway.

But what do you think? Is it a good idea? A bad idea? A who-really-cares-anyway situation? I'm curious. Please comment.

Baba Marta

So my mom has had a terrific research assistant for the last two semesters. Well, today she gave my mom this charming white and red needlepointy thing shaped like a crane and explained a wonderful custom. In her native Bulgaria, the custom for the first day of March is to present relatives and loved ones with a red and white pin or bracelet made of thread, which they wear until the buds of spring emerge. Then they pin them on bushes and trees! What a lovely and romantic custom.

I looked it up, and it's called Baba Marta, and you typically wear the red and white threads until you see storks. This amulet will keep you safe all year if you follow this custom. Well, it's unlikely to see a stork just wandering around northern Massachusetts, so we'll going to go with the first buds. I like it!

Arroz con gandules sin aceitunas

Drat! I nearly ruined perfectly good arroz con gandules tonight by forgetting to put olives in! It's ok -- it still tastes good, but not as good as with olives. What was I thinking? The good news is the grains came out very nicely -- just dry enough. But the gandules were mushy! That's the last time I follow a recipe for P.R. food! I'll just stick with what I can remember from Gramma. It just seems to come out better that way...

Black brean brownies

http://www.weightwatchers.com/food/rcp/index.aspx?recipeid=143321

Black bean brownies? That’s just wrong.

People who don’t understand proper cooking just don’t get that not all substitutions work well. My personal trainer was shocked when I laughed at his "chocolate chip cookies” that were made with cannellini beans and carob chips. And fake sugar. And applesauce. I tried one once and I couldn’t even swallow it. And I have eaten some strange things! Poor ignorant souls…

Bookcrossing

http://www.bookcrossing.com/

This is really cool. And it's a great thing to do on a date! (If you were dating someone who likes to read. Duh.) Basically, when you're left with a book you no longer want, you catalog it, then give it to a friend or leave it somewhere, like an airport or a coffee shop. Or, hunt for the books other people left somewhere. The book is "tracked" online when you log in the BC identification number. Also, if you want to discuss the books, you can do that too. (I'm not so into that part.) I love this idea! Have fun!