Oh my freaking god

So, remember the case of the ⁵/₆ full box of condoms?

I suppose checking me out on Jdate after we were all done was not enough, because guess who had the absolute gall to send me a Facebook friend request today? Yeah, no, I didn't accept. In fact, a frisson of pleasure actually ran down my spine when I clicked... IGNORE! And then, BLOCK!

The Tally-Man!

Come Mr. Tally Man, tally me some nightmares...
Daylight come and me want to wake up!

Next month, the first issue of the serial graphic novel of Stephen King's The Talisman will be published. I remember buying the very thick and worth it paperback when it came out the first time. (I was 11 and I had to save up for it. I still have it.) And I still remember Wolf, can't you?

http://www.stephenking.com/promo/talisman_gn/

Vacation, in a nutshell

So my vacation was wonderful! I spent five lovely days in Searsport, Maine (if you never heard of it, don't worry -- it's kind of in the sticks, on Penobscot Bay, not so very far from Canadia) beaching, catching up, reading, writing, not talking about work, and generally having a great time with an old college buddy. It was sort of a last hurrah before school starts.

We went to the Maine Wild Blueberry Festival where we saw The Flying Wallendas perform aerial tricks and tightrope maneuvers about 50 feet away from us in an open-air carnival field (and got Tito's autograph!); shopped in some port towns (Camden, Rockport, Belfast); and ate vacation food (lobster stew! fried native shrimp! bacon! candy!). We got pedicures (my color was called Sand in my Suit, by Opi). I also brought crafty things along, but didn't even start. I was so busy having fun!

I read two books: The Witch of Cologne and Night Work (posts a'comin'). I started writing for Demand Studios, earning a little (and I do mean "little") money on the side. We went to the flagship L.L. Bean store in Bangor and waved at Stephen King (ok, that last bit was made up. But sheesh, Maine roads can be scary at night... so I totally understand his point of view.)

The only thing I'd change would be to bring Butch and Twinkie along. I missed them, especially at night when sleeping time rolled around and when the tv was on. We'll see about next time, maybe...

I'm ba-ack!

It probably would have been nice of me to let you all know that I was going away for a week-long vacation. It came in the nick of time -- I was feeling beat down for being someone who is not completely self-centered, and who cares about the comfort of other people. I did a lot of thinking this week, and I have learned that being kind or willing to compromise can make me vulnerable to being kicked in the head over and over again... and so I have to protect myself. To that end, I plan to open up to and help only people who are deserving of my friendship and time, and to hell with everyone else. Rather fucked up, but that's the way it has to be.

Anyway, I'm back now, and you can soon expect more pearls of wisdom; interesting, fun facts; and tidbits of my life, once again. Thank you for your patience... and I hope you're still reading!!!

It just kills me

Recent winning words from my smart-ass Scrabble buddy.

Dreigh Suqs

Cajon Arsino

Loomer Yirrs

Vertus Jota

I am torn between being amazed that my vocabulary has improved so much... and believing that this man arranges the letters in as strange an order as he can imagine, then waits to see if the game will accept it. Who even USES these words? Just try and tell me they don't look like names from a novel about an alternate universe...

Hot dog buns

Boxer briefs - Underwear for males. A cross between boxer shorts and briefs, this style of underwear is known for a snug, athletic-looking fit.

Beef boxers - The same underwear, hilariously misquoted and accurately described by Neph.

Isn't it awesome how kids' points of view always make perfect sense?

Coconut M&Ms

A limited edition, these are deliciously sweet, and HUGE! (5/8 inch huge.) The candies themselves are white, green, and brown with palm trees and suns printed on them. The packaging is very cute, portraying the sexy green M&M in a glamour girl pose wearing her white boots and a hot pink tropical flower stuck to her shell (approximately where an ear would be) with the yellow M&M falling from a palm tree, holding binoculars, having apparently lost his balance while indulging in a little voyeurism.

The candies have the requisite sweet shell, and the chocolate is very yummy with a hint of coconut in. (I had been hoping for tiny coconut pieces.) Once you let the shell melt, you are left with a significantly larger lump of chocolate than the regular M&Ms, which is nice. But they are so sweet that I have been working on this individual bag for a few days now. I love sweet and can plow through peanut M&Ms, but I can’t stomach more than a few of these at a time. The lasting sweetness sort of gives me a headache, but it goes away…

Chicago, beware

The Clever Cat is coming!

Perhaps I should have gotten into marketing, because yours truly will be extolling the virtues of the Activeion system in October at the ISSA/INTERCLEAN 2009 trade show for all of North America, held in Chicago. This is going to be sooo much fun! And it seems to have turned into my good luck charm...

The timing is actually quite strange (insert Twilight Zone music here) because I brought the Pro into the office today, to show it off -- and two hours later I get an email from their marketing department asking if I'd be interested in flying out there to discuss it (as an end user) and staying over... on their tab! Um, HELL YEAH!!!

So lock up your sons, because I am on my way...

Red tea foaming cleanser

It's been about a week using Ole Hendriksen's Red Tea African Creamy Foaming Cleanser, and it is, indeed, praiseworthy:

- My rosacea is under control -- no redness whatsoever, and I don't even have to put on my wonderful makeup to achieve a very healthy look.
- Pores have smallened up!
- Skin clearer!
- No need to moisturize! (Although I probably should according to "beauty" articles, but my face is not tight and also not greasy. I figure, why rock the boat?)
-One pump is enough for my face, so the 1.7 oz. sample will probably last about 1.5 months.

Anyway, I may actually buy this item when I need more. It's pricey, but it works. (And I don't feel the need to also buy the other red tea items O.H. offers. So I think it will be worth it!)

Yummy yogurt!

Dannon Light & Fit, non-fat, 6 ounces for 80 measly calories, in... wait for it... Pineapple Coconut! It is so good, it's like dessert. As disgusting as the cantaloupe flavor was, pineapple coconut is that amount of yummy. The color is really nice, too -- just the shade you would imagine coconut yogurt to be, with recognizable pieces of real pineapple. It's creamy, sweet, and very enjoyable. I recommend!

Pillage your village

I dunno. This just speaks to me. Rawr.

Dreaming of digging

Sunday morning I had a dream that I was digging flowerbeds, about 3 feet each in diameter. It was sunny and warm and I was doing lots of digging but I wasn't sweating much at all. It was weird because I do not like gardening, but in the dream I was enjoying the work. I guess you never know with dreams!

Favorite exclamations

Of dismay, displeasure, or disbelief. Just for fun.

• "Drat!" I use this one all the time.
• "Jeepers!" A friend of mine uses this all the time, and it's just so her. I tried using it and it was all wrong for me, but I still love it when she says this.
• "Shit!" The old standby.
• "Oh my freaking God." This is best saved for disbelief. Also good for confusion.
• "Oh my fucking God!" Said with the force of anger behind it, this is the absolute tops. But it's rough, so I don't suggest using it all the time.
• "Ohhh, whaaaaat?" I didn't even realize I used this so much. But another friend swears that she waits for the moment when I say this, and then she feels that everything is all right with the world.
• "Harrumph." My friend uses a variation of this: "Hmpff!" (I think I have that right.)
• "Ew." This is really an all-purpose statement, depending on how it's said. It's good for when you find a piece of gristle in your take-out, when an unwelcome advance comes your way, when you step in doggie-don't, when you see a spider... I could go on and on.
  
• "Ai-ai-ai." Also, "Oy." When I'm feeling resigned and world-weary.
  

And finally...

• "Uch. It's all bullshit." Because most of the time, it really is.

Defriending...

...on Facebook. What's your take on it? (Warning: this may sound like a rant, but it's really just a ponder. A quandary. A crossroads.)

Would you just do it if you felt like you had nothing in common with someone? If you knew them a long, long time ago and accepted their friend requests, then realized you don't much care about their current lives? If you a mutual friend thought you might get along and then you discovered they were not someone you were interested in? If you accepted a request from someone in your network because you wanted another member for an online game? Is there a certain etiquette to this? Would you tell these people before you did it? Would they even notice? What if you did the actual requesting, not just the accepting?

Or would you just defriend them and not think twice about it?

I ask because I plan to quit a multi-player game due to receiving some kind of special tool, for torture. But I am not down with torture tactics and I don't find it fun (this is why I quit Mafia Wars.) Anyway, I had accepted three of what seemed like a million friend requests to join people's crews (gamers know what I mean). I said yes to one of them because he seemed normal (my age range, married, with a family, in my network, and without obnoxious status updates -- and you really never know when a connection can be helpful) and the other two because they also seemed normal (I know, I know -- what's normal, anyway?), and live on the other side of the pond -- far, far away.

Also, several people from elementary school, junior high, and high school found me, and I was very, very, VERY pleased to hear from some of them. Long lost friends! People I've missed! Possible networking! I was able to find a few other people on my own, and I have made some acquaintances as well. I like these people. I'm glad to see they are happy, have families, or are successful. But the rest... well, so what? I couldn't remember them! I actually had to dig out my yearbook (that wasn't easy) to see who some of these people were. And I won't allow myself to be guilted into being "friends" with someone, or being friends with them for the sake of politeness. My life will go on as it did before I accepted their requests. And besides, the administrator in me wants to clean out the files.

Is this all too mean of me? Am I overthinking? Would any of them really care? I think the answer is no.

To be clear, I find Facebook convenient because users can receive so much info about their friends and interests in one place. But I find Facebook inconvenient because who needs fake friends and extraneous information? To me, Facebook seems quite needy, sometimes. And one thing I can't stand is neediness.

I'm going to have to take a stand. At the risk of sounding aloof, harsh and/or really, really bitchy: life is short... too short for fake friends. I'm truly sorry if anyone's feelings get hurt. But I'm pretty content right now, and inviting extras into my life seems rather stupid. Sure, I enjoy some of the games, but for the most part I just want to stay in contact with my real friends and people I actually care about. Is that too much to ask? Feedback is welcome, people. Thank you.

Kazoozles

"Delickoricious Chewy Candy," by Willy Wonka.

These are totally weird. I tried two flavors: Pink Lemonade Lemon Ropes with Cherry Filling, and Cherry Punch Cherry Ropes with Punch Filling. And by "filling" they do not mean an ooey, gooey, sticky, sweet, yummy, corn-syrup-based filling à la Starbursts Gummi Bursts (yum! I couldn’t find those last night so I picked up the ropes instead), they mean an oddly fluffy, thick, tangy, dry-ish, somewhat stretchy substance encased in a tubular licorice stick (two per pack, and the lemon ones are rolled in sour sanding sugar).

I prefer the lemon to the cherry, but won’t be picking these up again. They are definitely chewy, but not in a good way. Although the ingredients are few, which is unusual for mass manufactured candy, this licorice is made with wheat flour, which gives it a somewhat firmer texture than I find palatable. I don’t much like the licorice (the cherry tastes cheap, like Nibs and the lemon is slightly bitter), but the “filling” tastes good, although it has a texture not unlike the toothpaste at the dentist (which makes for an interesting candy experience).

You may want to try it despite the stupid name, but I’m not suggesting it… unless you’re looking for a sugar buzz. If you want chewy fruity candy that won’t give you a headache I would just stick with Mike & Ikes or another old standby…

Beautiful desk

http://www.charlesrosearchitects.com/furn/desk_lg.html

Is this not one of the most beautiful desks you have ever seen!? Gorgeous. A mailing featuring this photo crossed my desk yesterday and I just looked at mine and sighed...

Funny People

I feel like Funny People should have its own post, so here goes.

Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, two of the funniest comedians who appeal to my peer age group teamed up to make a very serious movie. With supporting roles by Jason Schwartzman (who knew he could compose music? He’s good! And he is sooo funny), the chunky kid from Superbad (Jonah Hill), and Leslie Mann, as well as about a million cameos by Sandler’s favorite, shamelessly chosen actors (because we all know that’s how you roll, Adam) this movie was less depressing than I heard it would be, but it wasn’t exactly a laugh a minute.

In this movie, Sandler’s character (a famous, goofy comedian loved by many) learns he has a serious illness, and that he’s going to die soon. He hires Rogen's character (a struggling comedian) as an assistant to write him some material while he takes experimental drugs that will hopefully help. During this time Rogen befriends him, he teaches Rogen some stage tips, an old (currently married) flame of Sandler's surfaces, and it’s discovered that his disease has gone into remission. Does Sandler learn what’s important? See the movie to find out.

I liked it. I didn’t love it. I would watch it again, but not in the theater. It was very well done and it held the audience rapt. Rogen plays an awesome Everyman and I am sure we all identified with him at some point in the movie. Sandler has honed his acting skills (this is a far cry from The Waterboy).

I do think James Taylor got the best line in the entire movie (and he sounds great, by the way). After being asked by Rogen if he ever gets tired of singing the same songs, Taylor asks him, “Do you ever get tired of talking about your dick?" (I might have it slightly wrong, but you get the gist.)

And now, the bad.

• The opening scene was stupid and could have been changed. People past their adolescence are so over crank calls… and there was no one in the theatre under 30.
• Rogen’s love interest was incredibly annoying. This may be a jumping-off point for her career, but I’d rethink going to see her again, especially if she never smiles.
• Eminem. Why was he there, again? Jerk.
• Too long! Luckily the seats were comfortable. So it was definitely worth the matinee price of eight bucks.
  

All in all, I recommend seeing it, but not after watching two other depressing movies in the same weekend. Let me know what you think. I’m curious.

Changeling & Two Lovers

This past weekend was the weekend for un-funny movies. Friday night I saw Changeling, Saturday night it was Two Lovers, and Sunday it was Funny People, currently in theaters.

In Changeling, Angelina Jolie plays a youngish single working mother living in California whose young son goes missing. The crooked LA police force somehow convinces her to take in a completely different boy as her son, on a “trial basis.” (Who would ever agree to something like this, I can’t imagine.) She refuses to lose hope that her little boy will never return, and goes to great lengths to continue her search. I was actually under the impression this movie would be more along the lines of the supernatural, but boy, was I ever wrong.

A few things:

• John Malkovich was excellent as the preacher who helps bring justice.
• The best actor in the movie was a young kid involved in some very messy doings. I have no idea what his name is, but he was the tops. Following him very closely, the second best actor was Jason Butler Harner as a real sicko.
• Angelina can stop the incessant lip-quivering now. It’s enough. And also, she is not a very good actress. Her squeaky “I want my son back! I want my son back!” was less heartrending than it was nails-on-a-chalkboard, headache-inducing. But she is gorgeous. And her clothes were freaking unbelievable! Hot damn.
• The case of the random Irish accent. Cutie Jeffrey Donovan slides in and out of an Irish brogue throughout the movie, once even seeming to attempt the accent of an Irish Texan.
• The scenes were really well done. The violence was realistic and the nuthouse (Code 12, anyone?) was quite scary, indeed.
• It moved slowly at times and I found myself looking more at my friend’s living room than the movie.

So see it, don’t see it, I have no major opinion about the movie as a whole. But. It was depressing. It was disturbing. It was dark and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I had to watch Burn Notice to snap out of it!

And then the next night I saw Two Lovers.

Joaquin Phoenix plays the suicidal, adult son of a protective Jewish couple who own a small dry cleaning service in Brighton Beach. Why is he suicidal? He and his ex-fiance both tested positive for Tay-Sachs, and she didn’t want to adopt kids.

Freud would call it “transference” but semantics aside, Phoenix takes a liking to Gywneth Paltrow, a good-looking, pill-popping, needy, and non-Jewish woman who has moved into the apartment building where he lives with his parents. Jewish friends of his parents also own a larger dry cleaning company… and they have a daughter his age, a sweet non-partying woman who is much more serious than Paltrow (played by the lovely Vinessa Shaw, who is a brunette in this movie). After meeting Shaw and making casual dates, then breaking them, it’s revealed she is in love with him, and he semi-dates her almost out of a sense of duty while simultaneously seeing Paltrow, who he has become wild for (and who has romantic complications of her own). Non-hilarity ensues.

The movie was incredibly depressing. I may have missed a few scenes since I thought I was increasing the volume, but in retrospect I think I fast forwarded. Nevertheless, I doubt I missed details that would have changed my mind about the movie.

Joaquin is such an intense actor, though! Wow! He was just brilliant. Poor conflicted and confused character… even thinking about his character now I am thoughtful about love in general and how casual encounters and genuine feelings can cause so much pain. He was enthralling. Picture his intensity in To Die For times 10, but without death (except for perhaps death of spirit). Interestingly, one small thing I noticed was that Phoenix’s character never removes his coat. It was unsettling and I wonder why that detail was left in.

Anyway, if you decide to see this one, have some comedy nearby, unless you want to wallow in self-pity about your past relationships for the rest of your evening. Believe me on this one.

Style sense

I may start consulting Neph about my outfits. From my incomparable sister, please see "Genuine Cute Kid Exchange", a play in five lines.

Setting: a boy's bedroom, 8 a.m. BOY is half-dressed (Spiderman t-shirt and burgundy underpants).
Enter: GIRL, wearing a purple tank top and multi-colored striped leggings.

BOY (face reflects surprise): What? What?!?!
MOM is getting ready to step in with a warning comment.
BOY (continues): You look FANTASTIC!

Now that's one kid who knows what looks good! (At the tender age of three...)

Decent day, today

So today was pretty good, except that another re-org has taken place (I think this makes the twelve-hundredth) and a bunch of people stared through my window at me while I ate my dinner (yes, I was wearing pants). But the good things are numerous:

I tried the Ole Kendriksen red tea cleanser and it works like a dream and smells great, too. I had a good hair day, got to work on time, and took a very pleasant lunchtime drive with a close friend in a shiny blue Mustang, with the top down. I cleared out 900 MB of crap from my office PC. I received an email back from another interesting man on Match (the last one was nothing, in case anyone was wondering.) For some reason I didn't get charged this time for bringing back my library books and CDs late (again). Vacation beckons. And this cool, soft summer night is mine for the taking!

But for some reason I feel nervous, like butterflies in my stomach or something. I sure hope it's not a harbinger of things to come...

Eek! A mouse

I just changed the batteries in my cordless mouse for the umpteenth time in six months. Why do I have to change it so often? Do the batteries stay in use whenever the computer is on? If I turn the computer off, will that conserve battery power in the mouse? This is pretty annoying. I like the cordless mouse but hate the battery changes. Guess I should hunt down my rechargeables, but where could they be? Probably under a pile of makeup! *sigh*

Viva samples?

Are you a Sample Queen? I am.

I know I’ve mentioned that I am a makeup junkie, but I’m also hooked on samples. Just recently, I was running low on my favorite Bare Escentuals makeup and so I ordered some from Sephora, the self-named Beauty Authority. They have a great website, complete with reviews from makeup users just like me (they check off their skin tone, eye color, and age; and there is also an average rating for each item, since who wants to waste money?) These women are vocal and brutally honest about the products. Sephora even publishes the bad reviews, even about their branded makeup.

Anyway, I ordered some more foundation for $28 (a new matte version, bareMinerals SPF 15 Matte Foundation in Medium Beige) and a special “Heal and Conceal” bareMinerals combo in Medium (with two tiny brushes, for spot checking! I like it) for $25. I figured, why not? I have to buy it anyway. If I go to the store (in Burlington, fer chrissakes) I use my time and gas, plus and that doesn't include the cost of the makeup. In addition, Sephora offers free shipping over $50 and three free samples. For a blissful two weeks they offered five (count ‘em, FIVE!) free high-quality samples instead of three (and we ain’t talking about Softsoap), plus a bonus sample code for a huge bottle (way bigger than a weenie little packet) of Ole Henriksen African Red Tea Cleanser. I’m trying it tonight.

This is my third order with them, and unfortunately they are no longer able to offer a cute red satiny Sephora bag or their signature cool-looking black and white box for free, but even still. I have one of each, and that works for me. The last time I bought makeup from them was back in December (it takes a while for this to be used up, so it was about time.)

But back to the samples. I love them! They just make me so happy!

I toss them into a clear vinyl Clinique bag (a giveaway, free with purchase, from fifteen years ago when I wasn’t paying a mortgage and could actually afford Clinique once in a while) and the higher quality stuff I put into the pretty red drawstring baggie from Sephora. After I’ve done that, I throw the most interesting ones in my overnight bag, travel bag, handbag, or bathroom, I stash them around my house, and last but not least, I give them away. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I may (gasp!) have too many.

The reason I figured this out is because I was putting away my favorite green duffel-style travel bag from forever ago when I figured I should probably empty it out (it’s been a long time since I spent an overnight somewhere, and I don’t want to leave something in there that can be used. Well, I found about a million samples floating around the bottom and in the side pockets. I dumped them into my practically overflowing sample stash, and I realized – and I hang my head as I write this – that they no longer fit.

I looked around my bedroom in dismay and realized I also have an entire baby greens clamshell style box full of tubes and creams. This, in addition to my bags and boxes of full-sized makeup (at least I bought it all on sale). And the 100-piece box of Cover Girl makeup I bought last year on Ebay for $47.04 including shipping and handling as a late birthday gift to myself. (I gave away at least 25 pieces.) And the body washes. And lotions. I broke out in a cold sweat when faced with everything at once. I ran to the closet where I also found lots of hair sprays and fixes and other hair-related goopy stuff. It would have been like a Shopaholic movie moment, except I’m not in debt and that I haven’t bought this stuff in a long, long time.

So now what do I do? I know I will use most of it, but eventually. Maybe I’ll bring some to the office? I’m going to have to weed through and see if anything has gone bad. But if they’ve never been opened, they wouldn’t go bad, right? I'll let you know my findings...

Damage to your portfolio

What does a six-year-old know about the stock market? The latest kid word connection follows.

My sister was driving the kids home last night, while they talked about the day’s events. Niecey mentioned a show they saw at camp. I think it was about Arthur (you know him? He’s a rabbit) who was hanging around with his friends and a busybody played a trick on him or something. Niecey was indignant that Arthur's friend “messed up his entire stock market!”

“Hmm, that doesn’t sound good at all. Tell me about his stock market, hon.”

“Well, it’s big, and holds his pictures and markers and crayons…”

Questionable office habits

Some people do things I just don’t understand. And lots of them happen at my office. A few follow.

1. When someone blesses themselves after they practically sneeze you out the window. After a shower of someone else germs, the sneeze-ees should be the ones saying "Bless me"! Instead, say “Excuse me." Just enjoy your sneeze and let the people around you take care of the Gesundheits. And by the way, is it even to possible to bless yourself?
2. Bare feet at the office. Yuck! It may be summer, but must you walk around free of footwear? Slipping your sandals half off is one thing, but fully removing your shoes, then gripping your office chair with boney, two-inch-long, prehensile toes in full view of everyone before prancing barefoot to the shared printer 20 feet away of the office is just plain nasty. The only worse thing would be to play with them, and then use communal office equipment. It's so easily remedied: wear open shoes in the summer, but KEEP THEM ON. Is this so difficult? At least put them on before picking up your prints...
3. “Feel free to contact me if you should have any questions.” This is a wordy and condescending way to express that you are available for clarification. If I have questions, of course I will contact you, and I don't need you to tell me to feel free to do it. In fact, I'll contact you whether or not you want me to. And what's with the "if" I "should" have any questions? Why should I have questions? Are you not telling me everything I need to know? Coworker, I just lost faith in your ability to communicate. It's much clearer to say, "Please contact me if you have questions."
4. Leaving pubes on the floor of the bathroom. This is just inexcusable. Not for nothing, but I can’t just whip out my urinating unit. As women do, I have to drop trou to do my bid'ness, and I do not relish the thought of my pant legs coming into close proximity with any of my officemates' short-and-curlies. I refuse to blame it on the custodial staff, because it happens during the course of the day. I have actually blown them out of the way before performing my necessary functions in order to have frizzle-free pants. I don’t know who these hairs belong to, but I do know that thanks to my genius aesthetician, the odds of them being mine are very slim indeed.
5. Microwaving fish. 'Nuff said.

And you? Got any to add to the list?

Free chocolate!

I forgot to mention on Friday that I “was awarded” a big “Absolutely Divine” chocolate bar from CVS from their Extras card (retail price $1.99). It’s so big it looks like the flat Wonka bars from the original movie. Free for nothing, just for shopping there occasionally (I can’t actually remember the last time I shopped there). I chose milk chocolate, 30% cacao but I could have chosen dark 70% instead. My friend didn’t get awarded anything, and then the cashier rang up the free candy using the store card and she gave me a coupon for free paper towels, too. Huh! You never know what can happen…

Anyway, I tried it today, and it’s very good. It’s creamy and doesn’t have the cheap tasting chocolate you would expect from a store brand. It’s very sweet, though. Although I prefer Cadbury chocolate to this brand, it's delicious and if it goes on sale, you should definitely try it. Let me know if you like it like I do!

Good & Fiery

When I saw these today at CVS, I just had to buy them... especially after a friend said "'Sweet and Spicy'? Sounds just like you!"


And well, they are certainly... interesting. They are just like Good & Fruity, except not really. Chewy? Check. Colorful? Check. Cute packaging? Double check. Yummy flavors? Half-check. They include cinnamon, which makes sense (like Hot Tamales) but they also include lemon, cherry, and orange flavors to which they have added cinnamon, or maybe clove. It's hard to tell, and we'll never find out, since it's not specified in the ingredients. It just says, "natural and artificial flavor."

But let me not be too harsh. This candy is exactly what it says it is -- sweet, and spicy. The orange, lemon, and cherry part is just like regular Good & Fruity. If you let the candy coating dissolve in your mouth and are left with the chewy clear piece, the chewy piece tastes the same as the chewy piece inside a Good & Fruity. The coating on its own tastes like the coating on them, too, with just a hint of spice. But if you chomp directly into one, it's almost too much at times. Hmm. Am I like that too?

Bottom line for this candy: a few will refresh you... but too many will kill you. Enjoy!

Come on Barbie, let's go party

Last night I was relaxing after a friend came over for dinner, when my mom called me at 10:15 PM and excitedly told me to turn on the tv. "Ok, sure. But why?" "Dinner Impossible is on, and it's Barbie!" So I promptly turned off my game, and turned on the tv, because if I am anything, I am a Barbie fiend.

The DI team had to make Barbie-sized food for her 50th birthday party in March, for Mattel employees. They made tiny frosted sugared doughnuts, teeny weeny blini, mini-mini-sliders... and if the food didn't fit into Barbie's refrigerator, it didn't pass muster. Who dreams up these challenges? They are great!

So don't you just love Chef Robert Irvine? I could watch him all day. He is just right for the job! I'm so glad they brought him back to host, after all that bio bullshit. Who really cares? He knows what he's doing, and that is that. I just love his accent, and his resourcefulness, and his direction, and his smile, and his shoulders, and his biceps, and his forearms, and his booty, and... um... other stuff. Oh, and also, his cooking is pretty good, too...

Yogurt can be nasty

I have learned to enjoy yogurt and nothing beats my plain, local Market Basket brand when I strain it myself and pour my yummy and non-fattening fruit and fruit sauces over it. I like to try all kinds of flavors and brands, because you never know what might be good for a body and also tasty. However, in my quest for deliciousness I recently came across two very nasty flavors: Dannon Light & Fit, Seasonal Delights (limited time only), Cantaloupe flavor; and Chobani, All-Natural Greek Yogurt in Pomegranate. Yuck!

The cantaloupe flavor was so bad, I couldn't even finish it. Not only did it not taste sweet or fruity, it was actually bitter and unpleasant. On the plus side, the color was pretty, and if I had been able to enjoy it, I could have done so for a weenie 80 calories.

And the pomegranate one was just a shame. When I first saw it, I was psyched, since the strawberry Chobani is really delicious. I figured pomegranate would be just as good. I was also hoping the pomegranate Chobani would be as tasty as the Target pomegranate. But I was wrong. Although the lightly flavored sauce was all right, and the yogurt itself was very good as usual, the pomegranate seeds were tiny (I have no idea where they could have located seeds this small) and very crunchy, and entirely without any fun burst-in-your-mouth pom juice. All I could taste as I chewed was the slightly dusty flavor of the seed structure, which promptly caught in my throat and made me choke. At least I was able to finish this one.

In summary, don't bother trying either of these non-winning combinations. Unless of course you enjoy wasting money, in which case, you go right ahead. But don't say I didn't warn you!

RDA of H20

Why is it easier to drink the recommended amount of water from certain cups, and not from others?

I have a 16 oz. insulated cup in the office from which I can suck down 2 cups of ice water in no time, three times daily. I also have a beautiful clear crackled 10 oz. glass which I love to drink from, but it takes all day to drink 20 ounces from it. But If I bring a gallon jug in, it takes me three days to finish it. Why is that? Is it all the look of the cup?

And now, the winner

A hearty thanks to everyone for all the hilariously awesome entries for the Activeion Pro. I didn’t think I was going to get as many as I did, and kudos to everyone who took the time to scratch some letters in the dust. Poetry is alive and well!

A winner has been decided, thanks to a very close friend who was kind enough to act as a non-biased judge. (We've known each other since college. *ahem* 18 years *ahem*) But it wasn’t easy. All the entries were fun (and everyone was really sweet! Thanks again – reading these poems makes me want to meet me!) but the winning entry took creativity further than anyone else’s and besides, the giggle factor was very high. So congrats, Jen and Rich Redding! You’ve won this amazing cleaning system. The winning entry follows.

There once was a girl from Methuen.
Her blog was the site for reviewin'
Every product there was, no matter the use:
Cleaners, foot pads and makers of boots.
Lots of opinions did she dispose,
Each with the most interesting prose.
Valuable insights on love, life and books.
Entertaining and fun - she even cooks!
Remarkably talented at the game of Scrabble.
(Choosing to master a game in which others sporadically dabble.)
And ready to dance at the drop of a hat.
That, in a nutshell, is our fearless Clever Cat!

But some other poems also deserve honorary mention. These are a few of my favorites that didn't take the prize:

Tropical rhythm
Heats up
Exercise night;
Clever Cat dances again.
Leaking sweat and
Exhausted, home she rides in her
Vehicle.
Entirely Ravenous, she
Cleans her plate
All up -- except for the
Tomalley.
-by Alexis Clipboard. (I like this one because it tells a story... and it includes the tomalley. Heh heh.)

Telling us
Her secrets and
Exceptional stories --
Coolly she
Laughs at
Everyones foibles, including her own.
Various topics are
Expounded upon;
Rarely does she lack
Comment.
An artful crafter and
Talented wordsmith.
-by Alexis Clipboard. (This one is great purely for the use of the word "foibles.")

With my mind I wonder
How she’s undercover
Only to discover
Is this the cat I wonder??
She’s difficult to meet
To blog fans she’s a treat – Pounce Meow!!!
Her Prada on her feet…clip clop, clip clop, clip clop…
Enduring concrete teeth – I am
Certain that her jewels and furs are just as
Lovely as her purrrrrrrrrrs.
Envied by all kittens
Vixen I am smitten!!
Engaged by all her blogs
Researching for a prince - (not frog)
Cheshire cat of the year
Anonymous to all but fear - Grrrrrrr
This cat is a furry feline treasure
Her nails - sharp enough to slice through leather!
Under order from my peers
Her blog’s da’ blog of da year.
- by JP. (I like this one because it's lyrical and I sound fierce! Tee hee.)

Trying not to gripe too much
Holds your interest in her clutch
Ever writing her opinions
Clearly, what she needs are minions.
Loves her little niece and nephew,
Eating, reading, and a good screw,
Vexed by men and tribulations,
Exclaims daily affirmations.
Reporting on her dreams and dances,
Concentrates, and takes her chances.
Appraising products seen on tv
This cat’s the cool one – definitely!

Again, thanks so much for all the kind words, everyone. And Jen and Rich, enjoy your new toy!

Another interesting dream

I had another interesting dream this morning.

I was slogging along with someone through four feet of clear blue river water with a bag on my back. It wasn't quite deep enough to swim comfortably. Then the water disappeared and we were forced to walk through mud. I fell in the mud once but laughed and got up. Someone was left behind because they were running late and I thought we should wait for them but the person I was with said they would be ok. In my heart I knew they would be ok but probably scared because I also hadn't known that the water would go away and we would be left in mud. It was like a very long jetty. The house we were going to was far ahead -- you could see it but it was on a little island of its own and was high enough out of the water that it would never be flooded.

We could see the mud turning back into water up ahead and it would involve swimming. I knew that when we got there we would have to dry our clothes by taking them off and letting them hang. I knew that we would have to be naked, but it wasn't that big a deal. Maybe we could sun on the deck or the roof. It would be warm and clean at the house but we were so wet, wading through water and mud. Surprisingly, the mud only sullied my pants halfway to my ankle and splashed just a little on my calves, but of course my shoes were covered. My hands were dirty from when I fell, but I washed them off in a little pool of water sitting in mud.

At the house there would be windows and we would be safer. But we were still safe right then and it was sunny and there was enough time for whatever it was we were doing, which was why I was wondering why we couldn't wait for the other person. Maybe it was my sister? I could be wrong though, since I never actually saw the person's face. I knew they had started the journey, but the river also had curving stretches, so you couldn't see people up ahead, most of the time. I think there might have been a cell phone in my bag, but it wouldn't have been smart to use it. Anyway, I woke up just as the mud was turning back into water and was getting deeper.

Interestingly, the house may have been from a previous dream I had, years and years ago that involved huge window walls and acrobatics. I would have liked to know...

Interesting dream

After my blindingly painful MSG-and-Absolut-&-Pineapple-induced headache last night, I actually fell asleep without washing my face. And I dreamt.

In this dream, I was friends with or dating or maybe even working for an older man named Quincy or Quimby and we were walking through a huge well-appointed mansion or museum-like building, with really wide staircases (we were descending one and walking through rooms and halls filled with expensive and tasteful furniture, beautiful floors, and interesting objets d'art). I felt so small, but protected somehow and comfortable and safe, almost like I lived there or spent a lot of time there. He was very formal with me but I think he liked me. I think he was wooing me in an old-fashioned style. Then we walked through a very large courtyard on the way to travel somewhere in a fancy car or a helicopter. He had a shock of whitish hair but didn't seem very old. He was not unattractive or wizened or anything. I don't know if he lived there or what, but I think he was rich. He didn't seem like a family relation. I almost felt like he was a friend of my parents' friends, or an older uncle of one of my friends or something. After we were walking toward the travel area the scene changed.

Then we were in a smaller room in a more intimate setting and were sitting more closely and there on the coffee table in front of us were small tea or cognac glasses and there were also little fancy noshies on a sideboard and he was sort of tenderly appraising me, in a appreciative way, but almost like I was his pet or something, and I knew he would indulge me in anything I wished. I only looked him in the eyes a few times during the dream. I think he was hoping we would have sex or do something having to do with sex, or maybe he wanted to do something sexy but actually hoped that I wouldn't do it at that point since I was ladylike. I got the feeling that if we got physical at that point, he wouldn't want to be with me anymore since I he felt I was so virtuous and sweetly virginal. (Quit snickering.)

I knew I would do it with him eventually, but not that day, and maybe not even for a long time, like months and months, and not without some kind of understanding, but I wasn't particularly looking forward to it, but I wasn't NOT looking forward to it either. It was almost like one of those enjoyable tasks that you have to do occasionally or even more than occasionally, like picking up a friend somewhere. What I mean is that even though you might be going out of your way, something really great is going to come of it, and the task itself is kind of fun anyway. (I know it's not a perfect analogy, sorry.)

Anyway, I knew that if I "played my cards right" I would be secure for life with him since he loved me, but there was something missing. I felt good toward him, like I loved him or was on my way to loving him, and I didn't mind that he was older, and I knew I would be content, but I'm not sure I would really be happy if I stayed with him, even though he was gentle and loving. But I wasn't sure that would be such a bad thing, either. It was a weird dream.

So I looked it up in my book.

• "To dream of being in a mansion, indicates for you wealthy possessions."
• "To walk down, you will be unlucky in your affairs, and your lovemaking will be unfavorable. To see broad, handsome stairs, foretells approaching riches and honor."
• "To dream of a man, if handsome, well-formed, and supple, denotes that you will enjoy life vastly and come into rich possessions." He wasn't stunningly handsome (actually, I really don't know what he looked like, just that he was not unpleasing to my eye) but was well-formed and healthy.
• "To dream of traveling, signifies profit and pleasure combined."
• "To dream of brandy, foretells that, while you may reach heights of distinction and wealth, you will lack the innate refinement which wins true friendship from people whom you most wish to please." This was the closest I could get to the liquid in small glasses in front of us.
• "Bad, bad will be the fate of the woman who dreams of being courted. She will often think that now he will propose, but often she will be disappointed. Disappointments will follow illusory hopes and fleeting pleasures." Which doesn't apply, since there is no one currently who would possibly propose.
• And I couldn't find anything about expecting to have a future sexual experience with someone. And nothing about white hair. So who knows what it all really means...