MA Primary, 2016

So today is the day I cast my ballot for Hillary’s nomination, again.

It brings to mind when I was a youngster at P.S. 24 in Flushing, Queens and it was a voting day. They would drag out the voting booths with their drapes and mysterious handles, strangers at the sign-in tables, and occasional bunting. I also seem to remember voting taking place in the auditorium, but that doesn’t make much sense, does it?

Fast forward to today, through my first vote at college for Clinton in ’92 and again at the next one, the Bush/Gore/”Chad” fiasco, Obama, and now this extremely exciting and sometimes nauseating progression of events leading to today, Super Tuesday.

I was disappointed that Hillary didn’t get the nomination last time… really disappointed. Here’s hoping for this time – fingers, legs, and eyes crossed!

I miss my face

Well, I'm not any closer to getting back on the bean now than I was at last posting. But I have 5k races coming up! So I really can't do them well while lugging around an extra 30 pounds.

30? Yes, 30. Fully half of what I had lost. I miss my face and especially my ass, which was really getting quite good. :(

So. I'm taking a staycation next week and will reevaluate my eating, begin tracking on the government Supertracker, and start one of those couch-to-5k thingies. Have I mentioned that running a mile is something I've always wanted to do? Well, it is. And I will have a new bra (which will help immensely) and a new attitude, which is really the most important piece of this puzzle. I'll keep you posted.

Don't believe me? Just watch.

So. After a very long time and a bunch of pounds lost on the PP program (Simply Filling) and a few lost on the SP program (61 in total, then 20-something gained back due to Life Stuff including thyroid and other meds issues as well as falling off the treadmill and injuring myself - nice, huh?) I've thought a great deal about it and have decided to quit Weight Watchers for a while. I need to get my head back in the game, and they are not helping.

Reasons being:

• Doing us a disservice by using a points-based system, not a nutritionally-based system
• Constantly pushing their (not-so-great) foods (my leader does not push, but the site and their emails do)
• Having terribly frustrating, not fully-functional website and apps
• Focusing on the holistic crap at the meetings (ffs, I am here to lose weight. I can meditate on my own, yes?)
• There are other reasons, but these are the ones that roll off my fingers. 

I tried tracking (yes it works, but it doesn't need to be done through WW) and journaling/blogging for a few weeks (on the website, which was slow) and can't seem to get back into it. I'm still signed up for another month at least so damned if I'm going to let that go by the wayside, though.

Anyway, I suspect I might be more prone to stick to a long-term health plan if I can think about it myself... I may try a different way of tracking that actually tells me real nutritional amounts (grams) of what I'm eating. The WW site will tell you calories, but that's only one snapshot, and frankly, for those of us who are interested in real data, it's useless.

Also, I miss this blog. That's right. I'm back, baby! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! :D

No idea on whether I will be posting food-related updates or journaling weight-loss whatnot or just sharing some shit now and then, but I might. Thoughts?

Sleep study

Well... .6 this week, but in total I've lost 12.8 pounds in five weeks. I think that's a pretty good record.

Tonight I pick up a sleep machine to determine if I have a serious case of apnea or just a mild one. Doc says it sounds serious. Bf keeps "saving my life" in the night, and I have a wicked case of dry mouth. We shall see...

Oh! Also, this is the 600th post. Wow!

A smaller appetite, a smaller waistline

And smaller boobs! Already. :( (I'm happy about the other smaller things, just not that... not yet.)

But it's not all bad... my bras are fitting better, and now it turns out some of them do nothing at all! They're not exactly free-floating in the cups, but were all stretched out and I didn't notice because of superfluous flesh. Adios, bras! Bf was amazed and dismayed:

"You'll be down to a C in no time!"
"Don't worry babe... I still have to work my way down to a double D."
*sigh of relief*

And Sunday morning, when I pulled on my favorite long-sleeved gray tee and raggedy black jeans, the jeans had room in the crotch and thighs and the t-shirt actually bagged! (When before it skimmed.)

"I'm ready! Let's go!"
"Omg. I've never seen you look so homeless before." (He is used to seeing me in dresses and glammed up. I like to glam up!)
*sigh* "I'll change the top..."

So all in all, my body is changing, and my skin is improving, and it's all pretty good. (Did you know, skin regenerates every 35 days?) Bf can hold me closer, I can snuggle right in there, and I don't have to eat and prepare as much food. On the other hand, my eye makeup consumption seems to have increased. Lol! Hey, I gotta be heavy-handed somewhere, right...? ;)

My new mantra

is...

MAKE IT FUN.

In the past, I never wanted to think of myself or accept that I was “on a diet”, which caused me to always tell myself I was on “a new way of eating”. This time if it came up, I simply came right out and said I was dieting, and that’s actually been a lot easier than I thought it would. I have the support of friends and loved ones, and although it’s gonna be a long-ass journey (hopefully turning into a short-ass journey, haha) I think this one will be ok… as long as I make it fun.

What’s more, this is a good thing to remember in all life, not just in dieting. So here goes… when we meet along the way, let’s give each other a great big hug! Ok? See you then!

Simple Start satisfactions

Two weeks ago I started Weight Watchers (Simple Start), because I really need to lose poundage, and it had finally gotten to that point. This time feels different though, because I actually LIKE the way I look, and finally understand my body and what looks good on it. So I figure, I will still like my face and form having lost some weight also. (If I go from fat-pretty into ugly-skinny I will be pissed, though. Just saying. Ahem.)

But this post isn’t about reasons for losing, it’s about what feels good after having been dieting for two weeks! Nine pounds of lumpy butter (that’s Twinkie, teehee) gone! YAAAY!

So here’s what I love, or what has relieved or pleased me about this diet:

• Not being dependent on processed sugar (i.e. candy) to feel good. In my heart of hearts I know I will always like candy, but it’s freeing to not constantly be craving sweets. I found myself even reducing my use of Splenda and other fake sweeteners.
• Bras fitting better. My ten pounds of sugar in a five-pound bag has already been reduced to about six pounds in that bag. Hahaha!
• No huffing and puffing when rubbing my tootsies for an extended period of time. I love foot rubs, and it’s a lot easier when you can reach them without throwing yourself off balance. 
• Much-improved sleep. Less walrus-like snoring!
• GREATLY-improved wakeability! Not late to work once while on the diet! 

I'm sure more satisfactions will show up after time, and when that happens I will post again! See you then!

LinkedIn, you nostalgic asshole

Sooo...

How about that moment when you accept a cool new connection on LinkedIn and it immediately suggests numerous more possibilities based on email addresses… 11 of which are ex-boyfriends or men you’ve dated, whom you no longer wish to be reminded of.

Thanks but no thanks, LinkedIn, for making me relive these unwanted memories of gibbering fools! You are such an asshole. There's a reason why I relegated them to "Z" status...

Adventures in sewing

I've gotten the sewing bug again! (And what's more, the urge to give.)

So I decided to whip up a sleep/relaxation mask and matching heating/cooling pad for someone who deserves a little giftie, as a sweet surprise for them. I was going to attach a note to the pad stating, "I'll make you feel better!" Cute, yes? (I know. :) )

I bought some very soft material, cut a decent pattern, and started sewing, but not before I mixed up a cup of jasmine rice with dried peppermint leaves and a couple of drops of peppermint essential oil. It smelled divine to me! Unfortunately, it also smelled divine to the cats, because Butchie muscled his way over as I was sewing and attempted to stick his nose into the project! Too dangerisk! I had to lock him in the bathroom.

I was using a complicated stitch in contrasting thread (red on black) and had already practiced using the crissy-crossy shears (I forget what they are called) for a pretty edge. I told myself to leave plenty of room for the rice mixture. I left just barely enough... and then I realized I didn't have a funnel. Crap.

I fashioned one from paper, then another longer one and managed to get the rice in. YAY! Then I started sewing again... but I hadn't matched up the stitch as well as I thought. No biggie. I'll just go around again. It'll look cool.

So I thought things were going as well as planned considering I didn't have a plan at all until I broke the needle on a piece of wayward rice... with half an inch to go to complete the mask. Know what? That's enough sewing adventures for tonight.

It's ok -- this was just a practice run, right? Good thing I have plenty of fabric...

I dream of Q-tips

I've been dreaming a lot lately, and it's a shonda that I haven't been blogging or at least taking notes about them because some of them are seriously hilarious. (Some are terrifying, though. I wouldn't want to share. Oh hell, who am I kidding? If I share them, they won't bother ME as much!)

In last night's dream I was either stealing bags of Q-tips or correcting bags of Q-tips. I know. Correcting them? Ha!

But in these product bags, each large bag of Q-tips consisted of three smaller bags of Q-tips (real ones, not the cheap ones. And I know the real ones don't come in a bag. Just work with me.)

But some bags had three bags and some had four and they were overstuffed. But I probably should have been putting them into some kind of work-related basket, not greedily filling up my arms with them, right? Although I was wearing some kind of uniform (not a Target one, but like a Target one. NOT Walmart.) The aisles were wide and clean though, like Target. And almost everything was white. Was it heaven? I'll never know.

What did I need all those Q-tips for, anyway? I've finally gotten over my "loading up on deodorant" phase and am slowly working my way through my makeup, but Q-tips? Sigh...

Everything Is A Relationship

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

"If everything is held together through relationships, and we as people are made of the same “everything”, then what about our relationships? What holds us together? We know what the laws of nature are. So what are the laws of human nature? And is it really all that different? Could the same stuff that binds the universe together bind us together as well? And what do we call that?"

See? See? This is what I've been wondering for years and years! Thank you, PunkTorah!

Read on, here.